There was an old lady sat on a train which was traveling through the countryside. She sat there quitely watching the world go by and after a while the train pulled into a station. The door opened and a young guy jumped in through the doorway, briskly looked around the carriage, slammed the door close behind himself and then flopped down in the seat facing the old lady.
The train re-started it's journey and within a minute was once again traveling through the countryside at considerable speed towards it's next destination. The young man then leaned forward and grabbing the window release catch on the top of the door, released it and pulled the window all the down as far it would go. This meant that the old lady was now sitting in a draft which she thought was rather rude of the young man and she hoped that he would notice this and perhaps push the window up a way to get rid of the draft.
The young man however, seemed not to notice her discomfort and reached into his pocket and pulled out a brown paper bag which appeared to be bulging with something. He then reached into the bag and removed a prawn. The prawn was obviously fresh because it still had the shell including the head and the tail on it. The young man then proceeded to remove the head, the tail and the rest of the shell from the prawn, throw the detrius out of the train window and eat the prawn.
He then tucked earnestly into his snack diligently taking each prawn from the brown paper bag, one by one, pulling the head, the tail and the rest of the shell off, throwing them out of the window and eating the prawn. The old lady sat opposite was by now getting more and more peeved and upset by this very rude young man who not only was forcing her to sit in a draft from the window where she had previously been enjoying the view, but now, he was also forcing her to sit and watch his digusting practice of throwing bits of prawn out of the window and greedly eat the rest.
Eventually the old lady decided that she had suffered enough and it was time to ask this young man to think of other travellers in the carriage. She looked across at him opposite her and said "young man, would you be so good as to stop eating those smelly digusting prawns in front of me and shut the door window. I'm sitting in a draft here because of you." The young man briefly paused in his pulling the head off a prawn he had in his hand, looked up at her and said, "listen here darling. I paid for my ticket to sit on this train and if I want to eat my prawns and sit here with the window open, I will so tough luck. Now leave me alone and don't bother me any more." He then carried on removing the rest of the head, tail and shell from the prawn before placing it in his mouth and eating it.
The old lady was a bit taken aback by the rudeness and refusal of the young man to accede to her requests and sat back in her seat thinking that there was nothing else she could do if the young man was so determined to behave like that and not have any regard for the wellbeing of other travellers such as herself. By now , the brown paper bag was beginning to look nearly empty. Sure enough, the young man took the last prawn from the paper bag, remove the head, the tail and the rest of the shell from the prawn, threw the waste out of the window and ate the prawn. Licking his lips in the way that someone who has really enjoyed his meal does, the young man then grasped the brown paper bag and used it as a makeshift clothe wiping it over his hands and cleaning the juices from the prawns off of his fingers etc. When he had finished, he screwed the paper bag up with both hands into a small ball, and then threw it out of the window.
Satisfied with his fishy meal, he sat back in his seat, and gradually with the rocking and rolling of the train carriage, he dozed off into a sleep. The old lady sat opposite him quite seething now having had to, for all this time sit in a draft and watch this very rude young man eat those disgusting smelly prawns. She decided that she may as well do something useful for the remainder of the journey so she reached into her traveling bag and pulled out some knitting that she was doing. Taking the needles, she started on a row of stitches clicking away as she contentedly knitted a new cardigan for her soldier nephew. The old lady was a very proficient knitter and was clicking the needles at a great rate as the cardigan got larger and larger. The young man sat across from suddenly opened his eyes wondering, what is that noise that has just woken him up? He looked over at the old lady and realised that it was the clattering and clicking of her knitting needles.
Feeling a little grumpy because he had after all, just been woken up, he leaned across to the old lady and said, "excuse me, do you mind not knitting in here, you have just woken me up with that racket from your knitting needle." The old lady paused her needles and looked up at the young man and said, "now listen to me young man. I too have paid for my train ticket and I am quite within my rights to do my knitting here. There is nothing you can do about that!" The young man looked at her in surprise and a gleam entered his eyes. Suddenly he leaned across to the old lady, snatched her knitting from her hands and before she had any time to react, he threw all her knitting out of the open train window.
The old lady sat there astonished that the young man could do such a thing to her. Suddenly, in desperation, she stood up, reached for the emergency train stop lever and pulled down on it as hard as she could. The train suddenly and urgently began screeching to a halt. As they were both holding on waiting for the train to stop, the young man looked up at her and shouted, "you silly old cow, the're going to fine you £200 for pulling that lever."
The old lady looked back at him just as the train stopped and replied, "young man, when they smell your fingers, you are going to get 6 years."
